It’s easy to frown…

…on all of the people around who have kids they didn’t mean to have.  I myself have 3 friends from the last 3 years who have suddenly and unexpectedly had children, or rather, a child.  Before that, I left school with many of my classmates pregnant or already mothers.  All of these children were unplanned, ‘accidents’ or ‘unexpected’.  With the costs of children on the taxpayer, it’s easy to frown on the adults who brought them into the world.  Go and meet one, and it’s more difficult.

In my adult life I have spent 5 years working and 3 years studying, and during this time have lived on council estates with kids running around called ‘tangerine’ and whatever that year’s winner of Pop Idol was called, have had to put up with kids kicking footballs at my windows, and throwing stone through my other windows and frequently I’ve had to conclude that some of these kids need a bit more parenting.  Whilst living in Essex on an 800 pound a month job, I constantly got annoyed by kids; kids I would happily have slapped, but never kids whose parents I would’ve deprived of help.

The fact is parenting is a full time job, and because people are fickle and want everything for themselves, the accidental children are necessary to keep the planet full of humans.  Think about it, how likely is it that you were accidental?  It’s pretty likely whoever you are.  Unless you parent only had sex to conceive, it’s likely.  And you turned out ok yeah?  Of my friends who have kids, three things are noticeable.  Firstly, they are instantly different people; other people aren’t as important anymore.  You’d be the same, so shut the fuck up, and treasure what time they have for you.  I guarantee they’ll also make more time conciously for you than they used to, so it’s all good.  Secondly, they are knackered as I have said, it’s hard work.  If you want to know how hard you could try a parenting course, but it’s not even close, so you may want to consider having a kid.  If you’re brave enough then goferit, you’ll find stuff you never knew was in you, including mistakes you never knew you could make (if you don’t believe that bit, ask anyone with a kid or think back over your childhood!).  Thirdly, parents are grown-ups.  Be they 14 or 27, a parent is either a grown-up or not really a parent.

This blog post rants and raves and meanders on and on, but the real point of it is catalysed by something that is happening soon.  Currently in the UK, parents are considered validly out of work, and aren’t required to look for a job while they have children under 11.  Soon that drops to 7.  Being a mum is a fucking job damnit, kids need their parents.

I’m not a parent, I’m a kid who has parents.

Parenting is a job.

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